Stop trying to fix yourself
I've spent years trying to fix one of my biggest weaknesses.
If you asked my teammates, my friends, or just about any productivity book on my shelf what I should work on, the answer would be the same: focus, prioritize, do less. They're not wrong. One of my biggest weaknesses as a leader and changemaker is that I try to do too many things. I have too many interests, too many projects, too many businesses, and too many initiatives. And it's not just professional. I routinely decide it's a good time to build a new business while remodeling the kitchen, or launch a new project while training for a marathon.
Do less. Focus more. I've heard this feedback for years. I've taught it to other people. There's even an entire section in The Changemaker's Toolkit about the utmost importance of prioritization.
Then I had a conversation that changed everything.
I was telling a friend about a pilot project I'm working on with a new client. I absolutely love the work, and I can already see the potential for it to become its own business alongside Javelina and CatherineAlonzo.com.
She listened for a while and then said, "What I hear is that you love the variety. You love that it's something new."
Something clicked in my brain. She was exactly right.
It’s the new challenge that lights me up. And for the first time, instead of thinking, I really need to stop doing this, I found myself wondering if I’ve been looking at it from the wrong angle.
Then, about a week later, I had another conversation that gave me the exact same feeling.
I’m a bad delegator. Not because I don't know what to delegate. I'm actually very good at identifying the things I shouldn't be doing. Where I struggle is setting other people up for success. My version of delegation is asking someone to complete a task with minimal instructions or support, as if I expect them to read my mind and know exactly what my vision is and how I want it done.
As I was talking through that with another friend, she stopped me. "I think something I know about you is that you're really good at creating systems and processes."
Instead of thinking about delegation as something I needed to get better at, she suggested thinking about building systems and processes that would make delegation easier.
That landed just as deeply as the first conversation.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized those two conversations, completely unrelated and only about a week apart, had actually taught me the exact same lesson.
Neither friend tried to convince me that my weaknesses weren't real. Instead, they both reframed them. Instead of asking me to become a different person, they pointed me back toward the things I'm naturally good at.
The first conversation reminded me that I genuinely love variety. I love learning. I love building something new. Twenty years into being a changemaker, this work still feels exciting. Fifteen years into being an entrepreneur, I still don't get bored. New challenges energize me instead of overwhelming me.
The second conversation reminded me that I already have strengths I can build on. If systems and processes are something that comes naturally to me, maybe that's the place to start. Maybe I don't become a better delegator by trying harder to delegate. Maybe I become a better delegator by building better systems.
There was something about seeing those two ideas side by side that felt transformational.
Rather than trying to change myself, maybe I should lean into who I naturally am.
This isn't a revolutionary idea. Simon Sinek has talked about how every strength is contextual, and CliftonStrengths (which we have used at Javelina for years) is built around the idea of developing what you're naturally good at instead of spending all your energy trying to fix your weaknesses.
I'd heard those ideas before.
I've even taught them before.
But every now and then, an old lesson arrives at exactly the right moment.
As I write this, I just returned from my UK book tour. Professionally, it was an opportunity to expand my keynote speaking and consulting work into the UK. Personally, it gave me the chance to spend more time with my family there. We even built in a personal vacation to attend an ASU football game at Wembley.
A lot of people would probably look at that and say it's too much. Maybe they're right. In many ways, it was.
But after these two conversations, I find myself looking at it differently. Maybe trying to weave together professional goals, personal goals, travel, family, and new experiences isn't simply evidence that I need to focus more. Maybe it's also evidence of how I'm wired.
That doesn't mean I shouldn't prioritize. It doesn't mean I don't need boundaries or better delegation or stronger systems. Those things still matter.
But maybe growth isn't always about changing who you are. Sometimes it's about understanding yourself well enough to build a life that makes the most of who you already are.
There's nothing new about that idea.
But if you're anything like me, maybe you'll hear it differently today than you did the last time.